


Far From Home

by nekosmuse_archive (nekosmuse)



Category: Bend It Like Beckham (2002)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 05:53:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16341014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekosmuse/pseuds/nekosmuse_archive
Summary: Written pre 2005. Posting for archival purposes. Pretty sure this is mostly them falling in love and running away together. Sounds like something I'd write, anyway.





	Far From Home

She hates that her mother was right.

Because she's never right, and of all the things she could be right about, this is by far the worst. Anything else Jules could handle, but this, this just makes her life a thousand times more difficult than it already is.

She's not even sure why she's thinking about her mother, or her mother's intuitive knowledge that seemed to come straight out of left field. It's certainly not what she wants to spend her time doing. Not when there are about a thousand other things she could be doing --like studying for Monday's final, or playing football, or crushing on the cute boy that sits next to her in English Lit class. 

But the thought of studying leaves her exhausted, and they've just finished a match, and she hasn't really noticed the cute boy except to notice that he is marginally cute and of course that leads her right back to thinking about her mother and her damn assumptions that, low and behold, turned out to be true.

"What about this one?"

And okay, apparently thinking about her mother is slightly preferable to watching Jess run through every single outfit she owns.

"It's fine. The last four were fine, it's not like he's going to care," Jules replies, flopping down somewhat unceremoniously on her bed and staring up at the ceiling.

"I just want to look nice, is all," Jess explains, finally settling on the first outfit and Jules has to fight not to roll her eyes.

She's starting to get a little tired of hearing about Joe. Actually, a lot tired, but it's still better than watching Jess get ready to actually see Joe again. She knew it would happen eventually, the visit that she's been dreading since they got here. Except back then she was pretty sure it was because she was still a little jealous over losing Joe to Jess. Now she's just jealous of Joe in general and of course it would take her thousands of miles and a new life in the States to figure it all out.

"This isn't working," Jess practically curses and Jules lifts her head long enough to take in Jess' profile. She's standing in front of the room's only full length mirror, frowning somewhat unattractively and when her hands move to brush aside her hair, Jules can't help but notice the long line of her neck.

"You look fine, would you relax," Jules states, tearing her eyes away and turning back to the ceiling.

"I look awful, is how I look. Can I maybe borrow that black top of yours, you know, the one that shows off your stomach?" Jess asks, still fretting in front of the mirror.

"I thought Indian girls weren't supposed to show off their bodies?" Jules asks, laughing softly at Jess' grimace, but she stands, moving to her closet to pull out the shirt in question, tossing it across the room and Jess catches it one-handed.

"Thanks, just don't tell my parents," Jess says, pulling her existing shirt over her head and Jules forces herself to look down at floor, away from all that dark skin.

~*~

She's not jealous.

Not even close and the only reason she's still in their dorm room on a Saturday night is because she wants to study. And really, it's ideal, because she rarely gets the place to herself. It has nothing to do with waiting for Jess to get home, because she's not jealous.

And even if she was it's ridiculous, because Joe's supposed to be Jess' boyfriend and of course he'd fly over for a visit. She's surprised he didn't come sooner; they have been here six months already. And it's not like she hasn't heard them on the phone, practically every night so she should have been expecting this. What she didn't expect was for it to still bother her. Because she got over Joe a long time ago and she's happy for Jess. Really happy and she's pretty sure if she keeps telling herself that, she'll start believing it.

She's on her forth rendition of 'happy for Jess' when she hears a key in the lock. It's early, too early, and unless Jess is bringing Joe back for, and no, that won't happen because she knows Jess and Jess isn't exactly the kind of girl to fall into bed with some guy that she may or may not be in love with just because the opportunity presents itself. It doesn't stop Jules from rising to her feet, standing more or less in the centre of the room and telling herself not to panic.

She knows she probably looks like a deer caught in the headlights, but when Jess finally closes the door behind her and turns around, Jules stops caring. All she can care about is the fact that Jess has been crying and Jules is moving before she can stop herself. Right to Jess' side, linking an arm around Jess' shoulders and pulling her across the room until they're sitting hip to hip on Jules' bed.

"What happened?" she asks, softly because the last thing she wants is for Jess to think that she's happy about the sudden turn of events.

"He said he didn't want to tell me over the phone," Jess explains, her voice strangely calm, but she leans into Jules' arms so Jules knows she's hurt far more than she's letting on.

"That wanker," she mumbles, trying and failing to ignore the scent of Jess' shampoo.

It makes her feel like a complete bitch and the words that she buried a long time ago come back to her in a flash. They still hurt, twisting in her stomach until she can't think for them.

"He's not a wanker, he just... six months is a long time," Jess states, bringing a hand to her cheek to wipe away salty tears.

"That's no excuse," Jules replies, pulling slightly back before she can do something stupid.

She's been thinking about it a lot lately, ever since they got here, just the two of them, alone in a completely foreign place with no one but each other. Thinking about just what it would feel like to kiss Jess. Whether she'd taste like mint or that strange spice in the cookies her mother sends her that she thinks might be cloves. But thinking and doing are two completely different things and besides, now is hardly the time.

~*~

Jess' game has gone to shit.

Beyond that really and they've lost their third match in a row. It's disappointing in a way that makes Jules want to say something. She doesn't, because she knows Jess feels it just as much as she does and the last thing she wants to do is remind Jess of Joe and everything she left behind. It doesn't stop her from hovering a little too close, watching Jess out of the corner of her eye every time they're on the pitch.

She tells herself she's just concerned, about a friend, about the team, but she knows it's more than that. She knows what it feels like to get her heart broken; it’s happened more times than she's willing to admit and watching Jess mope around is hurting her just as much as it's hurting Jess. She wonders if that makes her selfish.

She feels selfish, every time Jess misses a kick or loses a pass, she feels it. That sharp disappointment that she knows isn't just about losing the game. It's about Jess pining over Joe and not her and she hates that Joe's still bothering her.

"You want to do something tonight?" she asks once they get back to their room, because it's been far too long since they went out and she thinks Jess might need it. It has nothing to do with her wanting to help Jess move on.

And okay, maybe it has everything to do with helping Jess move on, but she knows her motives aren't exactly pure.

"I don't know, I think I might just stay in, but you go ahead," Jess replies, her tone still sombre and Jules wants to shake her until she snaps out of it.

"You always stay in, and no, I won't take no for an answer this time, come on," Jules answers, grabbing Jess' hand and practically pulling her out of the room.

~*~

This was a bad idea.

Because alcohol and Jules have never exactly been friends and now that she's had three beers, she's starting to think she should have just let Jess stay home. Jess is even worse at holding her booze and they've already had to take several walks around the outside of the bar.

"I'm sorry, I..."

"It's okay," Jules answers, for what feels like the eighth time even though she's pretty sure it's only the third.

"It's the smoke, it..."

"You want to go home?" Jules asks, because that's what friends are supposed to do. Carry each other home after too many drinks or help each other off the field when they've twisted an ankle. It's the same thing, really.

"Can we not?" Jess asks, walking a little steadier now and when Jules looks up, she realizes they're across the street from the stadium.

"Come on," Jules says, once again grabbing Jess' hand and pulling her across the street.

Jess' hand feels good in hers, soft and warm, a little clammy from a night a drinking but Jules doesn't mind. She maintains her hold, not letting go until they're standing in the middle of the pitch, grass soft beneath their feet and she has the sudden desire to take off her shoes.

"Sometimes I wonder if it was worth it," Jess says beside her, staring across to where the goal would usually be set up.

"What? Coming to America?" Jules asks, turning to stare at Jess in the darkness.

"I don't know," Jess admits, swaying a little and Jules is fairly certain she's going to end up face down on the ground.

She probably shouldn't be touching, not with her head kind of hazy and Jess still pouting until her bottom lip trembles just a little bit. Jules wants to reach out, run her fingers across it until it stills. She doesn't, instead she helps Jess to the ground, following a moment behind until they're both sitting cross-legged in the grass.

"I'm not even that upset, about Joe, I mean," Jess says, her eyes focused somewhere in the distance and Jules wants to ask her to clarify.

She doesn't do that either, mostly because she knows where that conversation will lead. Instead she leans back, lowering herself down until she's sprawled on her back, staring up at the night sky.

"We never get stars like this back home," she comments, breathing in crisp air that doesn't taste like coal and staring up at a sky not filled with planes.

She feels more than sees Jess settle next to her, shivering a little when Jess' arm brushes against hers. There are still so many things she wants to say, but the silence that's settled between them is comforting and she doesn't really want to disturb it.

"I do like it here. I think I just miss home sometimes. I think that's why I was so upset, I just kind of associate Joe with home," Jess states, breaking the stillness and Jules turns onto her side to watch the play of moonlight against Jess' features.

"We've still got each other, right?" Jules asks cautiously, half afraid of the answer.

Her fear dissipates the second Jess smiles, and when Jess shifts, turning onto her side until they're face to face, Jules gives up trying to convince herself this is a bad idea. She leans forward, pressing their lips together and, just like that, she's kissing Jess. Feeling the softness of Jess' lips beneath hers and it's better than she imagined.

It lasts only a second, and then she's pulling away, her head spinning with booze and adrenaline, but before she can get out an apology, Jess is pulling her forward again, kissing her like she's been thinking about this for a long time. Part of Jules wants to complain, stop Jess because she's drunk and hurting and probably not thinking clearly. She remembers the last time they fought and, at the time, Jules was fairly certain she was going to die. The last thing she wants is a repeat performance.

"What was that?" Jess asks, her words whispered and it takes Jules a moment to realize Jess has pulled away.

She blinks twice before bringing Jess' face into focus, taking a shuddering breath and the air suddenly seems void of oxygen.

"I... sorry... I..." she stammers, blushing slightly and, for the life of her, she can't seem to look Jess in the eye.

"It's okay, I mean, it was nice, I was just wondering," Jess says and when Jules looks up Jess is smiling, her expression soft and somewhat curious.

"You're not mad?" Jules asks, still lying way too close and it's hard to think past the warmth radiating off Jess' body.

Jess shakes her head, her tongue darting out to lick her lips and before Jules can stop herself, she's leaning back into Jess' space, chasing Jess' tongue with her own and this time when they break apart, they're both smiling.

She stands, offering Jess her hand, and when Jess accepts it, linking her fingers with Jules', it makes Jules suddenly glad her mother was right.


End file.
